This is a raw and personal post. One of the hardest revelations I have learned will hopefully help others. The bible says:
"the enemy is defeated by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony."
I thought about sharing this in third person so as to remove myself and keep at bay any wrong motives some may have after reading. But, this is the truth, and Jesus said:
"You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."
"If you love me you, will obey my commandments."
So if you say you love God , look at some things God says:
"Love your neighbor as yourself."
"Forgive and you will be forgiven"
"A talebearer divides friends"
"A gossip stirs up strife." and
"Bitterness and unforgiveness is like wormwood; rottenness to the bones."
Wormwood was part of the embalming process in ancient eastern culture and it would dry up and decay the inside of the body. Blame and hate will eat you up and your loved ones around you.
I was a byproduct of divorce. I have no memory of Christmas morning with my daddy before the divorce ( I was very young when he left) and because of bitterness, unforgiveness, and gossip I never enjoyed a Christmas day with him after that. I was encouraged to believe he was the one that left, he was the one that hurt the family, he made things difficult, things shouldn't be easy for him and my poor mom (the victim) should not have to be alone on Christmas day.
Many today and especially in the good ol' south still adopt this argument that mothers are the most important deciding factor in custody issues. If she is stable, she will get the kids. No one loves the child as much as the mother. This is all the more reality, if the father screwed up. Children everywhere are suffering because of this.
I am 34 now and can't put into practice what i just learned, because my daddy is no longer here. He died before Christmas in 2014 and it took his death for me to be humbled and learn a few painful lessons. Fathers are important to children and their emotional health.
People should not be held to their past. If that were so, Christians adopt and believe a murderer named Paul. Bashing a parent to a child in the middle of divorce, causes your child to fall into sin. Its black and white. "Thou shalt honor your Father and Mother." So take that and put in your hat sweet Christian. It doesn't matter how many Beth Moore bible studies you attend, if you are causing your child to hate his father or mother, you are causing a "little one a stumbling block" and their is judgement waiting for you. Notice that the bible did not say "Honor your Christian Father and Christian Mother."
There is a reason the bible says, "If a brother has offended you, go to them." and " If a brother has an offense against you, leave your gift at the altar (don't worry about praying)and go to them and make it right."
In the old testament, we have a nugget of gold that our judicial system uses: " A matter is decided based on two or more witnesses."
Don't believe what anyone says about another person unless that person Is present and able to defend themselves. If you find somebody that can easily point out others mistakes or faults but rarely speaks of theirs in humility, you can be rest assured you are sitting in the presence of a bitter person with wicked intentions.
If after reading this,you find yourself mad or confused, I encourage you to question what spirit that is coming from. God doesn't give the spirit of confusion, and he would also have it that "no man should perish, but have ever lasting life."
No person in your life deserves you to put your mouth on and spew curses, bitterness, or unforgiveness. If you find yourself being a part of bitterness, gossip (true or not), or divisions,ask yourself wether you really love God.
The bible says "How can you say you love God, but hate your bother that was made in God's image?" If you are a product of divorce as a child, or spouse, mother in law , father in law, be a vessel of love; filter everything you hear through the voice of the Holy Spirit. He always loves.
Don't pass down your hate or assumptions onto family. The bible says assumption is witchcraft. Don't let them participate in Halloween, take them to church. You can control you kids life only so much. Take away the cable; filter what they read, but if you are assuming the worth of someone based on their past, you are a 3d picture of witchcraft to everyone.
.Children will figure things out themselves. But it might be 30 years before they realize your hate stole something precious from them. They will either have that conversation with you or decide that 30 years of bitter opinions from you is enough and cut you off.
When in doubt, check what you are saying or believing by this: 1 cor: love is patient, love is kind, love is gentle, love is not rude or proud, love forgives, love does not bring up the past, love Is not self seeking, love rejoices in the truth, love hopes all things believes all things, love never fails. If the bible says, "Liars and gossips will not inherit the kingdom of heaven", it would be wise to heed this warning.
You can gossip in church; you can hold your bible and spew bitterness towards another person with other supposed christans but it doesn't change the truth of God. You can have sweet precious people jump on your bandwagon of right vs wrong but if you are causing a break in a relationships (especially with children and a parent) you could find yourself looking in on the outskirts of heaven.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will inherit the kingdom of heaven."
"Every idle word will be accounted for."
I repent of speaking curses over myself, and others, believing lies and or repeating lies without establishing truth. I lay down unforgiveness, and decide to believe the best of everyone, hope for everyone that the love of the sinless, selfless Savior rule and reign in each heart. Because without Jesus, there is no peace.
Tony Evans said, "Conflict, within yourself, in your family, in your church, community and even in the world is a byproduct of not knowing or not walking in the power of the cross. The power of our sin held Jesus to the cross not the nails. The power of the cross exposed sin and established peace." Conflict can be resolved by exposing your sin, or the sin of others (holding out forgiveness) with the intention of establishing peace. I don't care if you were born in the bible belt, are a deacon at the church or on the choir. The only way the world will know you are a Christian is by your love. Love forgives!