Indecisiveness: What do I do? Who do I listen to?

It is hard to get off the crazy cycle of indecisiveness , but it is necessary for your mental stability and quality of life. I have had times when I had one person telling me one thing, and another telling me something different. Both were Christians. I wanted a magic globe, and wanted it to solve my answers, but that is dangerous too. So, what do you do when you don't know what to do? Who should you listen to?


  1. Fear of the Lord is Paramount.
  2. Fear of Man, his opinion, or the future is setting you up for failure
  3. Looking for signs can lead to witchcraft and demonic influence. 
  4. Faith that believes God speaks to his children, will lead to peace in making right, but hard decisions.
  5. Patience is needed in waiting for the right answer.

Psalm 37:3-6 Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light And your judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;

Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Proverbs says that fear of the lord is the beginning of knowledge and understanding. Before you can know what you need to do, you need to have reverence for God. Jesus started the Lord's Prayer with "Our Father who is in Heaven. Holy is your name." God is holy and sees everything. He has established conditions for a right relationship with him, and that comes through faith in his son Jesus. It is much easier to put our troubles in perspective when we view the cross and the suffering of the Savior that died so we could be reconciled to the Father.

If you have issues submitting to Jesus, and his way of love and forgiveness, you will not do what God tells you to do if he put up a big flashing sign. Have you committed to God's plan of rebirth? Have you died to your flesh and crucified it? If not, your flesh will drown out direction from God and wise counselors. Prepare yourself to be strong in the Lord and faithful to his word and commands. Cultivating faithfulness is living a lifestyle that is obedient to God. Obedience to God, protects your mind and heart from temptation, and makes hearing from him easier, because you have made it a habit by your lifestyle to honor his word, therefore you will recognize his wisdom more naturally.

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. When you delight yourself in the Lord, that is trading in your desires for his. Seeking his approval, and joy in your life. Could you imagine a man bringing home his mistress and asking his wife to teach her how to love him better? How did God react when Saul told God he was afraid of the people and that is why he did not obey him? Before finding out what you should do, you should find out if it delights God. No decision should contradict God's word. A counselor, pastor or friend that gives advice that goes against God's word, should not be heeded.

There is a woman that is in jail right now because she is doing what she felt God wanted her to do. She probably had conversations with family, ministers, and friends. Some people very close to her probably advised against her stance, and maybe guilted her for depriving them of her presence if she went to jail. She may have pondered the atrocities of being in jail so much that it could have made her not stand firm for what she believed. She sought to delight the Father more than man, or herself. She has adopted his desires as her own. It helped her stand firm when threatened , and taunted.

Many people will tell you what to do, but you have to answer to God for yourself, and justifying your actions or inactions based on someone else's advice will not fly with God. Proverbs says fear of man causes a trap. Never be pressured to make a decision unless you are ready to own it.

Commit your way to the LORD,   Don't be looking for a backup plan. Don't over compensate for God by looking for signs and wonders in ungodly ways. Some people in rural villages have been known to go to a healing service, and the next day visit a witch doctor. They get sicker and do not know why. When they hear a teaching on sorcery and faith, and repent of going to idols, they improve dramatically. It might not be like that in a first world country, but often we fall into the trap of not wanting to have to trust. We have an answer already in our mind as to what decision we want to make, and will look for signs to confirm that desire instead of trusting God's desire for our life.

I know a girl that almost reached to a point of repentance with the Lord for an abortion she had. She does not know the Lord, but believes in a higher power. Her struggle is with sin. She began to tell me of her abortion, after I had told her of the forgiveness and healing I received. I told her of some of the common side affects to abortion and she began to relate with them. She began to talk about the pain and regret, but then she remembered an encounter she had with a fortune teller. She was dealing with depression and guilt around the anniversary of her abortion but did not connect it. A friend paid for her to see a fortune teller. The fortune teller did not know her situation, but told her there was a date that was sticking out, named the abortion day, and then said "don't feel bad about what you did, because the baby was very sick and did not need to live."  She refuses to seek the healing that she needs because of the things the  fortune teller knew about her, yet her life points to her running from that moment. 

Matthew 7:7-8 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Many see this as an admonition to keep asking God for what you want, and if it is God's will, you'll end up getting it. There are teachings that say this is not so. They say that this is one of the golden rules of operating in the spiritual realm on Earth, where dark and light dwell. If you keep looking for darkness, you will find it. If you keep searching, or opening yourself to certain things, it will come to you. Be careful that you have committed to doing it God's way so that the things you seek, will be good and peaceful.

Don't search for the answer you want in signs. Keep seeking God for his perfect answer and measure the different solutions to your problems  with the word of God. Committing your way to the Lord does not mean give your list to God and he will give you everything you want. If you submit to his way, there is a blessing, and no manipulations on your part can justify going against God. Ifyou are unsure after reading your word and listening to godly counsel if you are still in the flesh about a decision, you can fast. Fasting coupled with prayer will put your flesh into submission to the spirit quicker than anything. It quiets the flesh so your spirit can hear from God.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

Trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light And your judgment as the noonday. If you take the leap of faith to trust a bridge, you have to be proactive and cross it in order to get to the other side. Some people trust God, but they do not trust their heart to hear, and that is where many of us that are indecisive, land flat on our face. Sure we believe God is good, but we do not believe we are good enough to hear him. We want others to tell us what to do because we are afraid to make a mistake, or having faith in that still small voice, is scary.

Stop having an inferiority complexand thinking that God only speaks to the Pope or superstar Christians. It is a big world out there and your pastor only has so many hours in the day that he can help guide people in making healthy decisions. The Holy Spirit is not just for a select few. He was sent to reveal all things to you. Get everybody else's voice out of your head, and listen. Keep your bible close, and search it as you pray on your situation. If you have faith that Jesus died and rose again, then you must trust that he is speaking to you through the Holy Spirit.

It will not be a big flashing sign, but there are some things to know about whether or not you are hearing God's voice. It won't bring confusion, or fear, it will bring peace, and It will line up with God's word. God will use his spirit, a sermon, or the bible to speak personally to you. He can and will use wise counselors, but that does not negate your responsibility to the decisions you make. Remember the friend you would put up to finding out if somebody liked you in school? That was because you were immature and feared rejection. God isn't some snotty school girl that wants to give you the cold shoulder.

He spoke the world into existence and the bible indicates that he never stops speaking. God is conversational, and loves to talk.  He is a wise father that loves to hear from his children seeking advise. James said if any of you lack wisdom, ask, and expect God to answer you.

1 John 2:27 But the anointing which you have received of him stays in you, and you do not need any man teach you: but as the same anointing teaches you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it has taught you, you shall abide in him.

Hebrews 5:12 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food.

Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him. Abraham knew God spoke to him when he told him he would have a son. He had to wait a very long time, but the bible says he received the promise. God said call on me and I will answer. Be patient and make no decisions because you are rushed or pressured. Being impulsive is a character flaw that can lead to sin, confusion, and disorder. Moses did not wait on God's instructions how to give water to his people and impulsively did what he thought was best in a fit of anger. It brought consequences , because he did not let God tell him how to do it.

Anxiety, and anger choke patience. Proverbs says, calmness fixes many errors. One way to see if you are acting in indecisiveness, or don't have peace is if you are still flip flopping from peace to anxiety. God is a God that does not lie, or change. He isn't a double minded man, and the word says a double minded man is unstable in all his ways. If you continue to seek a personal relationship with God, and study his character by reading about his word, and fellowship with people that are stable, you will become more comfortable on waiting for that perfect answer.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

There will be times that you have to act quickly, but you can cover it in prayer first. God will bring a person to mind if you need advice. Trust him because he cares more about your well being than you do. If think you have never heard the voice of God , but have trusted him with your salvation,  you have heard his voice. It was him that called you to repentance. Let him give you stability in your mind.

Dear Abby writers are either very patient, or ignorant to wait on a reply from someone that sifts through all of their correspondence to find the most interesting topic to publish in their writings. Aren't you more important to God than that?

Google and youtube can tell you how others have done something before, but God is the only one that can say "I knew you before you were formed in the womb." He knows how you tick and what will please you and Him. He delights to see his child happy and full of joy.